I believe that love isn’t a feeling but a decision. And I know how difficult I can be most of the time, that’s why I acknowledge that I need to do something to make it easier for my husband to [decide to] love me every day. Besides, marriage is between husband and wife. I cannot let my husband do all the work while I do nothing and expect our marriage to work.
Here are some of the things I do so that it will be easy for my husband to decide to love me:
1. I look my best.
I’m not into makeup nor into nail polish. What I do instead to look my best is this: be myself. I realized that my husband notices me more when I try less and be as natural as I can be. The only makeup I use are foundation and lipstick. I cut my nails regularly (that’s as far as I can go with nail pampering). I go to an eyebrow threading lounge only when I need it (e.g. attend a wedding). For normal days, I opt to pluck my eyebrows and groom them using castor oil.
2. I spend quality time with him.
What we love to do is eat good food, listen to good music, and watch a good movie afterwards. We do that almost every day in the comforts of our home.
3. I cook for him.
I didn’t know how to cook when we got married. I’m still not considering myself a great one, but it warms my heart when my husband tells me how great the food tastes. Hearing him say that is a big deal for me because not only he knows how to cook, he’s great at it.
4. I submit to him.
It’s a challenge for me to submit because I have a dominant personality, but I acknowledged that I cannot change myself so I turned to the One who can. By the grace of God, I am being changed from glory to glory.
5. I get intimate with him.
I do my marital duty of spending intimate time with my husband. I enjoy it, too. I have to be honest that this wasn’t always the case. There was a period in our journey of TTC when it has taken its toll on me. I spent intimate time with my husband but I didn’t take pleasure in it. For me, I was doing it to procreate. God made me realize my mistake. I was reminded that yes, procreation is one of its purposes, but so is pleasure.
6. I pray for him.
I made it my life’s commitment to pray for my husband every day. I believe that if I want my husband to fall in love with me every day, a third party should be involved and that third party shouldn’t be anyone else than God. If at the end of our lives, people will mention how our marriage is what inspired them most, it’s not because I’m a great wife, but because of the fact that God answers prayers.